Loved Fiercely—Carly Van Laar

I didn’t think I could carry a lamb, until I realized I already have.

I always knew the price of a sin offering from reading the Old Testament. Before Jesus, animals were used as the price of atonement for sin. However, it wasn’t until reading a book, that I truly thought about what that walk to the alter would be like.

This is the book I’m currently reading, Redeeming Grace: (please excuse the glare from the library’s protective cover.)

It’s the story of Ruth authored by Jill Eileen Smith, who researches how women lived during the time of the Old Testament and puts stories from the Bible into a rich book format.

It was the following excerpt that literally brought tears to my eyes. It’s told from the point of view of Boaz, who has just lost his wife, Adi. She tried and failed many times to have a child, and in the book, she took care of their sheep as if they were her own children.

He…”felt the weight of the sacrificial lamb draped over his shoulders. Despite his grief, he had picked the best from the small flock–just not one of Adi’s favorites.

‘Want me to take the lamb for a time, my lord?’ Ezra pointed to the animal, his gaze sober. ‘You shouldn’t have to carry the burden the entire way. Not when we are sharing the Passover meal.’ He stopped, arms outstretched.

Boaz patted the lamb, so content on his shoulders. He should feel the weight of his sin with the weight of the lamb, knowing that in a few days its life would end on his account. And Ezra’s. And Ezra’s family.”

-except from Redeeming Grace by Jill Eileen Smith

Until reading this, I had yet to stop and consider what that walk would be like.

Would I have been able to carry a lamb to sacrifice as my sin offering?

And then,

I realized,

I carry The Lamb every time I ask God to forgive my sin.

Living this side of The Cross, the cross where Jesus, my Lord, made the ultimate sacrifice by taking the punishment for MY sin, means that I do not have to physically carry a sin offering to the alter, yet what if I lived as if I did?

What if each time I prayed to ask God to forgive me of my sin, I imagined the weight of a lamb on my shoulders?

What if I mentally walked out into my yard and imagined selecting one for my atonement. How could I choose? If I mentally did this, would it change the ease in which sin entangles me?

What if I wept over my sin, as I wept when I read the passage from the book?

What if I stopped to consider the price that was paid for my sin? Because in reality, there was One who carried MY sin on His shoulders. He felt the weight of it. He died, so I can live. And for this, words escape just how grateful I am.

Could you carry a lamb?

Could I?

I asked myself this, and realized I could carry a lamb.

And I did.

His name is Jesus, and what a beautiful name it is.

(Click HERE to listen to an amazing version of a song with this title.)

Oh Lord my God, forgive me. Forgive me each time I take for granted what it means to ask that You forgive my sin. You are an amazing Creator, an awesome God, and such a complete provider that You provided me with my sin offering, Your Son, Jesus. Lord, thank You for the work You did on the cross. May I live today in light of that fact, with the urgency to tell others of the sacrificial lamb that is available to them too. Father, strengthen my faith that I may trust in You with my entire heart, and not depend on my own knowledge, my own understanding. Lord, in all my ways, I desire to acknowledge You, so that You may direct my path, and so that You ALONE receive all the glory that my earthly vessel can offer. In Your Son’s name, Jesus, I pray, Amen.