I rob The Love Bank a lot. How do I do this? I’m very quick to forget all the deposits and file for bankruptcy, therefore, I need to be gently reminded of deposits.
There’s my confession.
What is The Love Bank, you ask? The Love Bank is a figurative bank in each marriage where deposits and withdrawals are accounted.
Deposits are different for each spouse, and are unique to what makes each individual feel special/valued/wanted/needed, etc.
Deposit examples for me include: prepping the morning coffee, prepping my Carnation Instant Breakfast so it’s ready to grab and go, receiving a text in the middle of the day–just because, cuddling, giving me undivided attention while I’m talking (not looking at a screen and half listening), sugar cookies from a specific small local bakery, etc.
My husband’s Love Bank deposits are way different from mine, and are unique to what makes him feel loved.
It’s so important to communicate what each spouse deems as a deposit. Without this step, it’s hard to build up a “savings account” within The Love Bank.
Withdrawals–these are inevitable since each marriage is made up of humans, neither of which are perfect–not the man, not the woman (yes, women, alas, we are not perfect). Withdrawals are those undesired actions, words, feelings that pop up while we are all doing this thing called life.
If there are enough deposits in the bank, an occasional withdrawal will not bankrupt the account.
By the same token, if there is enough Love Bank currency in the account, a catastrophic marriage event, with Christ’s help, and Christ as the center of the marriage, can be conquered, therefore allowing the account to remain open for future deposits.
Per my above confession, my beloved and I both came to a point where we agreed that in the past, I had been so quick to dismiss/look over/not account for all past deposits when a withdrawal had to be made. Recognizing this has kept our Love Bank account in good standing when the inevitable withdrawals come.
Where did this post come from? A deposit my beloved made for me recently…..
It was in the midst of a busy couple days, and I had not packed my lunch for work prior to this particular morning, and there were no leftovers from the night before to take either. So, my sweet husband packed me a snack:
It had cheese, nuts, and was complete with half of one of those sugar cookies I described above. This is all I want for Valentine’s Day each year, and I half them to make them last longer. Since my family has also discovered that they love these cookies, my sweetheart gets two dozen each year. They. Are. Amazing. Check these beautiful goodies out….
(I’m glad I snapped a picture the day they were brought home, because this box has been depleted!)
I didn’t have time to check out the snack before dashing out the door, so when I opened the container at a work, and saw all the love that went into this gesture, I smiled so big. Then I snapped a pic to remember, and a deposit was made into our Love Bank.
If you are already married, what’s the status of your Love Bank account?
Do you know what your spouse deems as a deposit?
Do you have the tendency like I had, to be quick to rob your Love Bank, forgetting prior deposits? If so, how could you work to fix this?
Could you think of ways that you could make deposits this week?
If so, don’t delay! A marriage with a good-standing Love Bank account is exactly what God had in mind when He created this incredible gift of a Christ-centered marriage.
Don’t get me wrong….this does not mean that your marriage will be perfect, and without conflict. Rather, it means that those conflicts will be short-lived, resolved quickly, and be less frequent than they were before. How so? Because, you will both be so busy putting each other first!
Father, Thank You so much for modeling what it means to love. Through the work of Your Holy Spirit, please help my love to be patient, kind, not jealous; help it not to brag or be arrogant, help my love not act unbecomingly, and not seek its own, to not be provoked, not take into account a wrong suffered, not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rather to rejoice with the truth; help it to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things. For all this is exactly how Your Word has described love should be. If my love for others is to reflect You, then my love needs to look like this. Thank you for the gift of marriage. I pray that our marriage will be a reflection of You for others to see. It is the name of Your holy and precious Son’s name I pray, Amen.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7